"I came into this really wanting to help someone else (and hopefully I have). But what really intrigued me was the amount of self-introspection our dialogues have led to."
There is no doubt that protégés gain value from mentoring relationships – countless stories and data collected provide ample testimony, and they are the intended primary beneficiaries, whether they are youth, students, early career professionals, rising executives, or others. And organizations, professions, and societies benefit from the intergenerational learning that occurs through mentoring – passing along critical knowledge, skills, and ways of work.
But what motivates the mentors? They are spending precious time, and sharing hard-won lessons learned, knowledge, and experience. They invest energy, effort, and personal emotion. They may put their own reputations on the line. And sometimes they literally spend from their pockets – covering travel, meals, or telecommunications expenses in meeting with their protégés. In serving as mentors, individuals risk their own productivity, conflicts of interest, the possibility of resentment from others who think they are biased, cultivating insiders, or "playing favorites," or concern that they are entering into a one-on-one relationship for some ulterior or inappropriate purpose. Why?
An executive in a major national consulting business, with whom I spoke on a panel a few years ago, said that as far as she was concerned, mentoring was essential for success in her business. Consulting depends on teams, and can only be as productive as the least knowledgeable and experienced team member, so it's in everyone's best interest to make sure all those on the team have as much information, understanding, knowledge, and skill development as possible to achieve the end result. On another occasion, at a major national conference some years ago, I listened as a successful executive spoke on a panel about her experiences serving as a mentor. She cited many examples, but then went on to make what I thought was a rather startling statement: "I only serve as mentor when I know I’ll get more out of it than I put into it."
Mentors benefit from mentoring relationships in a number of ways:1
- Mentors learn through self-assessment and through discovery as they engage in the learning process, and also from their protégés.
- They develop future colleagues, sometimes in ways that directly benefit their own succession planning.
- They may gain valuable help on projects.
- Service as a mentor may help meet performance evaluation requirements.
- Mentors may benefit from access to new networks of colleagues through their protégés, or as they explore on behalf of their protégés.
- They gain new skills and valuable experience in the areas of communication, management, and mentoring.
- They frequently note a feeling of renewal, recommitment, and an energizing of spirit.
- They feel valued and appreciated.
- They can benefit from recognition from peers or management, and enhance their own reputations through serving as a mentor.
In addition to the assessment of return on investment for the mentor, however, there may be yet another aspect of volunteering2 as mentor. To some extent, the executive mentioned above, who wanted always to be sure the return would be more than the cost, was reflecting what all experienced mentors know – with mentoring, the learning goes both ways, and there are often just as many rewards for mentors as for protégés. But I think her perspective is too narrow (and bit too Machiavellian). A rigid calculus of costs vs. benefits may limit some mentors from the more serendipitous outcomes of mentoring, and those one cannot predict. At a deep level, a strong human characteristic that helps us all consider what makes for the greater good – altruism – is at work. When we've asked MentorNet mentors why they have volunteered, they typically don't cite any of these benefits, or even speak to what they hope to get from the relationship. Instead, frequently they say either, "I had great mentoring, and I want others to be able to benefit," or "I didn't have good mentoring, and I want to change that for the better for those coming behind me." These motivations speak to a desire to keep good things going, and to improve current practice, not for personal gain, but for others, and the world as a whole.
The 2000 book and movie "Pay It Forward" captured an age-old manifestation of altruism coupled with a new terminology – one that works well for mentoring. Those who believe in the goodness of human nature often want to find ways to change the world for the better. Trevor, the 12-year-old hero of "Pay It Forward," describes his idea this way: "You see, I do something real good for three people. And then when they ask how they can pay it back, I say they have to Pay It Forward. To three more people. Each. So nine people get helped. Then those people have to do twenty-seven." Mentoring can be like that. We have many MentorNet mentors who have been matched multiple times in mentoring relationships. And there are many MentorNet protégés who have gone on to be mentors.
In the U.S., January has been designated "National Mentoring Month," and January 23 is "Thank Your Mentor Day." Appreciation can also help advance the "Pay It Forward" phenomenon by encouraging continuing mentoring. And mentors can encourage their protégés to serve as mentors themselves – research shows that those who are serving as mentors are more effective protégés as a result. Today's MentorNet protégés can not only become tomorrow's mentors, but can volunteer now as mentors for less experienced students. In this way, the benefits can continue to flow and accumulate. But perhaps even more importantly, in so doing, we affirm an optimism about the world that will benefit all of us, now and in the future.
Happy New Year, thank you for mentoring and encouraging your protégés, and please thank your mentors!
Please send comments on this article to Carol Muller.
1. MentorNet mentors are no exception. In our evaluations of the One-on-One program over the years, mentors say they experience positive outcomes as a result of MentorNet, with 74% expressing personal satisfaction in helping the next generation move ahead. And the data indicate these mentors do make a positive and important difference in the lives of many of their protégés. 81% indicate the experience offered a significant opportunity to pass along what they have learned to the next generation. MentorNet mentors strongly believe that it is important for a student to have a mentor. 69% indicate that their email exchanges with their protégés provide an impetus for reflections on the mentor's own career.
2. As a result of more than a decade of professional work in mentoring, I've had the opportunity to talk with a wide variety of individuals about their own mentoring experiences, both as mentors and as protégés. In consulting and speaking about mentoring in a professional business or educational context, I have sometimes been asked "What is the difference between a mentor and a coach?" Although different people may use different definitions for these functions, one fundamental difference between a mentor and a coach is that generally speaking, a mentor is a volunteer, while a coach is paid. A coach, therefore, may also be motivated by direct financial return on the investment.