With a Little Help from My Friend

We discussed things like how being a woman in engineering affects self-esteem, and how I had to believe in myself.

When you’re a female freshman engineering major at a prestigious technical institute, the stresses can pile up, and having an objective someone on your side can make a big difference in how you handle them.

When Erin McClain arrived at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, New York, she realized the climate was quite different from high school. From most of the male engineering students she met, she says, she experienced a condescension that stopped her short.

"This campus is 77 percent male. There are very few women professors, and a lot of the males think women are here because of affirmative action, not because we’re as smart and capable as they are," Erin says, in an observation common to many female engineering students on campuses across the country. "Unless a woman is a really great programmer, they act like she doesn’t know much. When you work with people in groups, the men will ask of the women, ‘Are you sure you know how to do this?’ They assume women don’t know what to do with a computer, or how to fix it, that our knowledge is limited because we’re female."

Erin had a campus mentor, who was helpful in many ways but unable to answer questions about professional concerns. So she signed up with MentorNet, indicating a preference to be matched with a female mentor who’d been an electrical engineering major.

I hoped that as a mentor I could be an active listener, relate some of my personal experiences, validate concerns, be a positive influence and, if necessary, a shoulder to cry on.

A friend and advisor

A few weeks later she was paired with Veronica DeHart, 33, a software engineer in the IBM Enterprise Systems Group in Austin, Texas, who had informally mentored new employees there. Prior to her three years with IBM, Veronica had been an undergraduate researcher with the NASA "Hearts in Space" project at the University of Utah, which studies the effects of zero gravity on the human cardiovascular system. She had been a first-generation college student who earned her bachelor’s degree in electrical engineering at the University of Utah with part-time jobs as an engineering aide. She’d also completed internships and a co-op placement and had mentored younger students on campus.

"Because I was a first-generation college student, most people in my family didn’t understand what I was going through, especially as one of very few women in my electrical engineering classes. I hoped that as a mentor, I could be an active listener, relate some of my personal experiences, validate concerns, be a positive influence and, if necessary, a shoulder to cry on," Vernonica says. "I wanted to be honest and not sugar-coat my experiences, and I wanted to keep Erin interested in math and science, whether that meant an engineering degree or some other path. I wanted to be a friend as well as an advisor."

Veronica’s experiences turned out to be relevant to Erin’s situation.

"I sometimes find that women in male-dominated fields feel we cannot fail, that we must push ourselves to be better than men, and we become perfectionists," Veronica says. "When Erin and I were matched, she felt she wasn’t doing as well as she could; she was doubting herself, wondering if engineering was the right major for her. Her environment also led her to ask questions about the differences in men’s and women’s work styles, how those are negotiated in the corporate workplace, how they affect organizational politics, and so on."

Keeping the faith

Erin had begun to consider changing majors, and Veronica’s encouragement during that time was key, she says.

"I realized I didn’t want to do electrical systems engineering, nor be in straight engineering either, so I talked to my advisor and checked out different options. In the end I chose information technology because it seems so interdisciplinary and a better fit for my personality," she explains. "While I was considering this change, I consulted Veronica, and she told me how important information technology is to engineering and how in a management IT position, I could be a liaison between management and engineering.

"We discussed things like how being a woman in engineering affects self-esteem, and how I had to believe in myself. Veronica always said, ‘Whatever you choose to go into, I know you’ll do well,’" Erin says "I never met her, and we talked only through email, and it amazed me that she could have that kind of faith and trust in me.

"My relationship with Veronica was different than any other I’ve had. She really accompanied me through my freshman year and helped me deal with the negativity," she says. "After talking with her and my mentor on campus, I know that pursuing my interest in technology is the right choice. I bring my own unique experiences to this, I believe I can contribute, and I’m at the right school."

Influencing the future

Since changing her major, Erin has kept one foot planted in engineering by continuing to take classes in that department. And because of her good experience with Veronica, Erin says, she signed up for another MentorNet mentor for her sophomore year and became a campus mentor herself to two female freshmen.

Veronica believes herself to be as big a beneficiary of their MentorNet experience.

"I really like MentorNet mentoring, maybe more than most face-to-face mentoring I’ve done, because I can think more about what I want to discuss, and what I write can have more impact," she says. "Writing to Erin made me review my own life successes and views and think about what I wanted out of this experience. I realized I wanted to believe I was making the world a better place for someone, that by sharing my knowledge and experience I was teaching someone and thereby influencing the future.

"You always hope that you’re turning your protégé into a mentor," she says, "and that she will influence the future, too."